||[Jun. 30th, 2006|09:37 pm]
I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK
well here is my fucking post...I don’t think that me and nancy are close anymore, I don’t think im close to anybody anymore, I don’t think I should be, I feel bad coz im leaving everyone, sometimes I think that they must be happy coz im leaving and all.
Anyhow other than that I just felt depressed most of the day, ppl are just a pain in the ass, I feel like everyone is punishing me, everybody is acting strange and I just end up crying everyday…
Not that anyone cares, I don’t think anything that I say matters, I don’t think that im something.
Im always nice to everybody, I care about everyone and I would do anything for any of my friends but I think I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t love them or be nice ,u know why because they don’t treat me the same way.
No one does
I think about my family and friends more than myself…but I get nothing for that, im just so scared, im scared of leaving, im scared of being in a new skool yet again, what if I didn’t find someone to talk too and I got all missed up like before.
what if something happened to sam and im not here to help her.
I just fucking hate how ppl think, I hate it when they talk behind my back, I hate it when ppl hurt me and they act like its okay, she’ll fucking get over it.
I feel like a complete idiot, I don’t even know why am I here, im losing everybody so fast, everyone is getting outa of my life, im leaving, they die, they leave..ppl pretend to care coz they just fucking want something from u, maybe just to hear there problems, or just someone to make out with, whatever it is, im sure as hell its not because they fucking like me.
Im totally sorry for the shit that I did, for the lies that I spread, for not beating u up when u thought of dying.
That was depressing….im thinking of doubling my medication, not now though, my mom wont afforded taking me to a hospital….i wish I could burn myself, burn my fucking neck…
Its clean, there isn’t even a mark on it anymore and I wanna burn it again.
Comment if u care